Newsflash no one is perfect so what do you do when someone else makes a mistake that impacts your life? Are you quick to point the finger or do you take accountability for your part by trying to work towards a resolution? If you find yourself in the blame game, stressed, fearful, or worried then let our life coach in Boulder Colorado help you take an honest look in the mirror to establish a healthier and more efficient work and home environment.
“It’s not my fault- why do you blame me for everything?”
“He’s not even trying”
" All she ever does is nag me, I'm sick of it!"
Does any of this sound familiar? While it might be true that the bulk of the issues that are affecting your relationship with your boss, spouse, parent, or adult child is their fault it's also true that each of us is flawed or less than perfect. The biggest choice we have when others screw up is how we choose to perceive things. When someone forgets an important task or misses a critical deadline do, we react with criticism, anger, yelling, or by stonewalling and attribute it to their bad behavior or do we just look at it as a bad circumstance? Regardless of another person bad behavior this is not a licenses for our bad behavior. Bad behavior is simply that…bad behavior. As the old cliché says " two wrongs don't make a right." We cant control or change our boss bad attitude or our spouses, but we can choose to take a look in the mirror.
Find Your Power
I want you to go look in the mirror with an honest perspective not at the extra pounds you may have added or those new grey hairs that appeared from no where but look at where you may fall shirt. Before you do I want you to write out a list you want from the person you are blaming. Lets use our spouse as an example. I want a spouse that
· Has integrity
· Cherishes me unconditionally
· Listens attentively
· Is faithful
· Is mature and acts like a “grown up”
· Is transparent and vulnerable
Now that you have a list of desirable characteristics, look in the mirror and rate yourself on those same areas. The hardest part is to look at yourself without thinking about your partner actions or shortcomings, but this isn’t about them, this is about you.
· Do you give them your full attention when they are talking?
· Are you a man or woman of integrity?
· Is it “grown up” to point the finger?
Remember this is an honest assessment, when you can be honest with yourself that is the first step to transforming you, your partner, and your relationship. Avoid making statements like “I’m Critical…. because” instead of filling in the blank remember that your criticism doesn’t make it any more right. A critical spirit will never help your relationship move forward – period! However, this is about self-awareness this is not a self-bashing session. If you find this too hard to do maybe you want to speak with a life coach in Boulder Colorado who can help you to take the next step forward.
Once you rate yourself can you share your list without any accusations and offer an apology, yes you heard me right- own your part. Now I know you may think “ But what it they respond like a jerk” Let me ask what would you do if this person came to you with an honest inventory and humbly asked for an apology? Would you respect them more or less? Would this inspire you to look in the mirror? Remember that regardless of the outcome this is really a commitment to yourself to be your best. Its progress not perfection, no one is perfect.
Schedule A Free Session With A Life Coach In Boulder Colorado!
Do you need more self-discovery? Do you want someone to hold you accountable and responsible for seeing that you live your best life? One of the things that working with a life coach can do is help you to look inwardly to make the changes you wish to see outwardly. When you schedule a free one on one session with our Boulder Colorado Life Coach we will teach you tools to help you work on yourself first to become the man or woman that compels and inspires others to be the change they wish to see in themselves! If you would like a free session then click on the link to schedule a call. During this session I will show you life coaching in action by solving one of your pressing problems from the list. Then if you wish to move forward the steps to enroll in my 90 one on one life coach program for Boulder Colorado residents. https://www.healthylivinglifecoaching.com/contact